Saturday 12th May ~ Leeds Police (Away)

Sad Day In North Leeds

Summer had arrived; T-shirts and shorts, deckchairs and picnics, hard wickets and runs, and unfortunately more for the Leeds Police threesome than our eleven!

With Reg being absent-without-leave, Huddy was inaugurated as Skippy for the day and immediately went into action by winning the toss and electing to bat. The missing opener also allowed for new boy Neil to be given his spurs from the off, an inspired decision by Skippy (though he said it himself!). The combined weight of Neil and his bat should do much damage at Tong where his 'flicks to leg' should all go searing over the boundary. At the open expanses of Gledhow Lane he was still able to do severe damage and the expectant Tong support was looking forward to applauding a maiden Tong century when he fell to a good catch by Chief Constable Conboy out at deep mid-on.

Neil had maintained his cool throughout by retaining his numerous layers of clothing despite the 30 degree heat and clear blue skies. If ever anyone didn't need help in assuming the role of Michelin Man.........

Darren Holmes had maintained a steadying role whilst Neil was his partner, but after the fall of the first wicket and the arrival of the ever juvenile Police Constable Terry Davis bowling from the pavilion end, what had looked like being a 220+ score was quickly reduced. Pencil Phillips (15 minutes for 4), Skippy Huddy (30 minutes for 9) and Buttocks (6 minutes for 2) all helped the assorted policemen back into the game.

The ever blossoming Dave Hornby and Irry McCutcheon both smote some hefty blows towards the end of the game (watch the local press for photographs!), but the Tong total petered out at 177 for the loss of 7 wickets.

Tea (outstanding as always at LPCC) coincided nicely with the last minutes of the cup final and Michael Owen netting the winner for Liverpool against Arsenal ~ a difficult one to support this game being a Leeds fan!

The Tong support had been bolstered in the first innings by the arrival of; the long-suffering and much travelled father and son; Paul (I've come to watch my lads) and Rachel Tankard; Linford (my son needs my advice) Hudson; an assorted clan from the Stockill and Taylor homesteads; and very late on, Marlene (back from jollies again) and Mick Spargo. This put the away support well in excess of anything that the Police could muster. Perhaps they were all on duty!?

Tea over, and the first ball of the Tong defence was perhaps an omen of things to come, as Steve Taylor speared his opener fast down the leg-side and sent Pencil grovelling into the dust in a vain effort to stop the ball. Huddy had cleverly placed himself at third-man instead of long-leg, and as a result was never near cutting off the boundary, despite having lost several stone on his post-round.

An early breakthrough was achieved though when Superintendent Crossland edged a ball off Huddy to Pencil. The arrival at the crease of Inspector Khan initially filled all with hope, as he proceeded to play all around everything and was extremely fortunate to survive an LBW appeal from a delightful in-swinging yorker from Skippy. After that though the Inspector managed to find some excellent vacant gaps, including the slips, and moved his and his teams score on steadily. An assortment of Tong bowlers and bowling followed, but nothing came close to dislodging the Police's 2 and 3 and they never looked in danger of doing anything other than winning comfortably.

There were though a number of memorable incidents. These included:

Senior Hudson making rapid progress from his supporting position to intercept a ball over the boundary, only to make a complete hash in trying to stop same ball, which having nut-megged him proceeded on for a further 50 yards much to the amusement of all at the ground.

Michelin Neil (replaced by junior Tankard) limping off with a poorly big toe just as a rumour was going around that he was going to be brought on to bowl, and finally:

The sad disappearance of Gareth Bottomley, who, in chasing a ball around the lowest end of the ground, lost footing ball an' all and vanished below the horizon. The mirth that resulted amongst the Tong 'crowd' at the top of the Gledhow ground quickly subsided when it was realised that Buttocks had infact come off rather badly. Thankfully Buttocks had his own supporter to take him off to hospital after Doctor Hornby had diagnosed a dislocation (Ah! This is very deja-vu!). Though the final prognosis was a fractured clavicle, which will curtail his sporting activities somewhat, I am pleased to report that it has not stopped his drinking!

Even with Chief Constable Conboy on as thirteenth man, the end was quickly reached and team and support were able to retire to the Deer Park and the Greyhound, where Speckled Hen and Skottles of Bol quickly helped to forget the whole proceedings.