Tong v Cookridge 'A' Match Report (by John Dey)

With the full on debacle/circus act that was last week’s performance still fresh in the memory the Tong players turned up determined to put in an improved performance.

The appetite for wickets and runs was whetted somewhat by the first Cookridge player to show up, who feasibly could have opened the batting for Great Britain the last time cricket was played in the Olympics (1900). Despite this no one had quite predicted the swiftness in which the victory would be completed. It was as if the Cookridge players had been informed that cricket had overnight taken on some of the rules from football and started the game with a determination to get proceedings finished within 90 minutes.

Cookridge won the toss and decided to bat first – a decision made more on the fact that they only had 6 players when the game began than anything else.

Pictures Left to Right: John Dey takes a much deserved wicket, Khuram bowls the Cookridge opener (literally), Khuram swats to a quick finish.

‘Mad Dog’ Minnett and John opened the bowling and the ball nipped around from the start with Nick, having decided to keep wicket only after Haseeb offered to fill in, taking ball after ball behind the stumps with the Cookridge players fishing around blindly like Masood at a hook-a-duck stall without a box to stand on.

As a couple of catches went down there was a eerie feeling of déjà-vu which was soon put to rest when Adam (3-17) ripped out the opening batters middle stump. This started a slump that Cookridge couldn’t stop, although special mention must go to the old-timer who played a lovely clip off the legs for four from Adam’s bowling before running himself out with a single that can only be described as suicidal… With the game being won so easily Karl decided to try and extend the action somewhat and took to throwing the ball at his own teammates instead of at the wickets – Khurum being the unlucky victim when he was crouched with his back turned at short extra cover.

After some tight bowling from ‘Dog Boy’ Hawkins the innings was ended on 43 with a superb catch from Graham in the gully off John’s (3-18) bowling and a quick turn around followed to get the game finished.

Nad decided that the game was so far in the bag that he took the opportunity to try and knock in the back of his bat, which resulted in him offering a tricky catch, snaffled well by a Cookridge fielder to register his first duck for Tong. This, along with the crispbag he dropped at slip ended a disappointing day for the opener, which was brightened only by the sight of Khurum charging head on into the Cookridge opening bowler – the ambulance was cancelled when the poor bloke declared himself fine to carry on.

The game was ended with a flurry of boundaries from Khurum (25*) and Nick who both finished unbeaten. Despite the easy win there was a slight feeling of disappointment around the changing room at the lack of fight shown by the opposition, especially from Martin (“£8 to field one f****n ball, and I came back from holiday early”). Only Moazam was in really good spirits as the early finish meant he could get in a couple more hours of work in the taxi. Back to Savile Stars next week for the 20/20 competition, which despite being 44 overs shorter, will probably last longer than Saturday’s affair….