Spring is Sprung

For the uninitiated, the Tong CC Saturday side has had 3 new arrivals this year. Having lost Steve (Pencil) Phillips to Huddersfield Lockwood and Alan Crossley back to Gildersome we are pleased to welcome Gareth Bottomley, Dave Stockhill, Chris Higgs and their respective ladies to the club. Judging by their collective ability to fall over, they have obviously settled in well!

Having been a side noted for it’s leg injuries over the years it was hardly surprising that we lost Darren Holmes before the season had even started. Having missed the first 5 games of the season, it was good to see ‘Shackette’ back on the field again - even if he can only run in one direction.

Early games provided further strain for the availability’s list, as first Gareth (Buttocks) Bottomley decided to headbutt the ball at New Wortley and then Chris (Piggsy) Higgs pulled a fetlock and couldn’t bowl. Thankfully, Mick (Odd-Job) Spargo was always available to fill in with his enthusiastic drinking fielding!

The first game of the season against Castlehill was notable for 50’s from new boy ‘Buttocks’ and definitely old boy McCutcheon. ‘Ken McKinleys’ half century which included six 6’s could well have been in-line for the fastest in the League, but unfortunately nobody had a watch! ‘Buttocks’ rounded off his all-round day with figures of 3 for 9 in 5 overs, and was immediately removed from subsequent bowling line-ups by the skipper!

In what was a rain effected programme this win gave the club a jump start on our arch rivals - mention no names.

Week two and ‘Piggsy’s’ day. The usual cold north-westerly was howling across the expanses of Western Flatts Park, but to make up for this the groundsman had left the showers on ‘Mans temperature’. Not a pretty sight seeing naked teletubbies dashing in and out of the water whilst turning redder by the minute.

Highlight of the batting was Chris ‘Piggsy’ Higgs’s swahbucking display. His 80 included a six of ginormous proportions (as fitting his build), which he deposited in a garden some 50 yards down Greenhill Lane. Realising it was going to be ‘Piggsy’s’ day the skipper promptly tossed the ball to his great rotundness and told him to get on with it!

‘Piggsy’ would have got a rest had he not unfortunately bowled a half volley outside of off stick, for this was to have dire consequences for his change bowler.

Up until now nobody in the club was aware of just how blind ‘Buttocks’ was, so perhaps silly mid-off was not his best position (what is? you ask!). There has also been a strong rumour going round that ‘Buttocks’, realising that he would never catch the ball decided not to try and get a hand to it as this would constitute a dropped catch and would cost him in the pocket. In the instant of pulling his hand away he forgot what was behind the hand and took the drive full in the eye. Thankfully, after early worries the eye is gradually improving and there was never any danger of damaging his looks!

As a footnote to this match, in which ‘Piggsy’, manfully bowling throughout from one end took 7 for 40, it was noticeable that cricket came first for the Tong players and supporters, as ‘Buttocks’ was driven off to hospital by the New Wortley skipper!

Week three, the first double weekend of the season and the return of the Jedi (or ‘Fat Boy’ Rule). After his marathon performance of the previous week ‘Piggsy’ showed his true fitness level against Otley by instantly pulling a fetlock whilst taking a quick (!?) single. This was to be a day when ‘Fat Boy’ ruled though, as the skipper batted his way to a remarkable 83 ably supported by nobody.

Having lost two of his strike bowlers ‘Fat Boy’ was forced to bring himself out of retirement and memories of that arching run and the bouncing curly locks came flooding back! They were just memories though, the run-up is somewhat shorter as is the hair, but that jagged movement off the seam (it hit something!) is still there. By the end of the afternoon our exalted skipper had returned the figures of 8 for 21 and the Otley skipper had concluded that there was a direct correlation between ‘Fat Boys’ ability to take wickets and his noise level!

Three wins out of three, top of the League and off to Cookridge for the first round of the Cup.

Either someone had turned the lights out or we were badly effected by the previous nights revelries, for the day in many respects was completely different. Though the skipper continued to show his all-round prowess, the team of circus jugglers that he brought with him did much to bring the opposition into the game. Dave ‘Smiler’ Stockhill produced his best bowling thus far in the season (3 for 20), with a particularly devastating second spell and the Cookridge batsmen decided to miss ‘Mushy’ Close’s straight one!

Having allowed the opposition to reach 111, it was then our batters turn to make a game of it.

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